Your phone buzzes. A friend posts photos from a get-together you were not invited to. You immediately feel left out and keep scrolling, even though you had planned a quiet evening. Or you hear that a colleague is working on an exciting project and volunteer for extra tasks, even though your calendar is already full. This fear of missing out costs you sleep, energy, and sometimes the ability to make clear decisions.
An analysis of several systematic reviews and a meta-analysis with more than 55,000 participants shows that FOMO is closely linked to social comparison and digital use.[2][6] Whether in relationships, at work, in a family, or while shopping online, this feeling can affect many parts of life, not only social media. The good news: feeling FOMO does not mean you are too curious or weak. It is a normal psychological mechanism linked to our need to belong.
In this article, you will learn what FOMO means and why our brains react this way. I will show you concrete examples from work, relationships, and shopping. You will also get practical strategies to recognise the fear of missing opportunities and handle it more thoughtfully.
What is FOMO?
FOMO stands for "Fear of Missing Out". It is the uncomfortable feeling that other people are having valuable or exciting experiences while you are left out. This is not only about parties or holiday photos. It can also concern career opportunities, trends, relationships, and purchases.
Imagine your friends get together without asking you. You immediately feel rejected and check their status updates repeatedly. Something similar can happen at work when a colleague mentions an important client meeting and you wonder whether you are falling behind in your career.
Researchers describe FOMO as an ongoing worry that other people are having rewarding experiences without you.[7] The feeling can be brief, such as after seeing a single social media post, or it can become a lasting tendency.
Why does it happen?
FOMO grows from comparison. You set your own life beside what seem to be other people's better or more important experiences. This comparison feels urgent because belonging and social acceptance are basic needs.[7] FOMO can feel especially strong when you are lonely, insecure, or not very socially connected.
Online, this effect can grow stronger. You usually see selected highlights: the perfect holiday, a fun party, or career success. The ordinary or difficult parts of someone else's life remain hidden, while you experience all of your own life, including doubts and dull moments.
Studies with more than 55,000 participants show a clear link between FOMO and heavy internet use, although the strength of this link varies a lot between studies.[2] During the COVID-19 pandemic, the link was even stronger. It is important to know that many of these studies show associations, but do not clearly prove that FOMO alone causes problematic use.[6][8]
Everyday examples
Imagine you wake up and reach for your smartphone before you even get out of bed. You check messages, group chats, and social networks, including at breakfast and just before you go to sleep. Studies show that people with strong FOMO are especially likely to use platforms such as Facebook just after waking up and before going to sleep.[7]
Another situation: you see a time-limited discount on a new device. You do not really need it, but you buy it anyway because the deal supposedly ends soon. Marketing also deliberately uses scarcity and time pressure to speed up purchase decisions.[9]
FOMO can also show up in relationships. Your partner posts photos from an evening out with friends, and you immediately wonder whether someone more interesting was there. This insecurity can lead to frequent messages, checking up on them, or unnecessary conflict, even though nothing concerning has happened.
Contrast: with and without awareness of FOMO
Without awareness of FOMO: You hear that a colleague is working on a prestigious project and immediately volunteer for three extra tasks. After a few weeks, you are sleeping badly and producing mediocre work. You realise the project did not fit your goals at all.
With awareness of FOMO: You notice the urge to join in straight away because you are afraid of missing out. You ask about the actual tasks, compare them with your own goals, and choose only one clearly defined contribution. You stay in control instead of overloading yourself.
How to deal with it
You do not have to avoid FOMO completely. What matters is recognising the feeling as a signal and then checking deliberately whether something important is actually at stake. These strategies can help:
- Name the feeling. Say to yourself, "I am afraid of missing out right now." Simply naming it creates space between an impulse and an action.
- Check what you are actually losing. Ask, "What exactly am I going to miss?" You may find that it is a short-lived comparison, not a real opportunity.
- Limit your triggers. Turn off unnecessary notifications and set fixed times for social media, especially before bed.
- Use a waiting period. Before making a purchase or committing on the spur of the moment, wait about 24 hours. Then check whether the decision fits your goals.
- Practise JOMO. Deliberately plan time without your phone, such as going for a walk or having a quiet meal. These small breaks show you that you do not miss anything important by being offline.
What to take away
- FOMO grows when you compare your life with other people's apparent highlights.
- The feeling is human and connected to your need to belong. It is not a character flaw.
- Online, you usually see selected successes, not the whole reality of other people's lives.
- When FOMO comes up, name it and then check deliberately whether an important opportunity is really at stake.
- Try this week: spend some time deliberately offline and notice how your sense of belonging changes.